I Hardly Knew Me

Following Love, Faith, and Skittles to a Transgender Awakening

Nia Chiaramonte

"A candid and unflinching window into what it means to find oneself." —Publishers Weekly

"I Hardly Knew Me is a profound book about Nia's experience, not only as a trans person but also as a beautiful human being who is worthy of being loved." —Trey Pearson, singer-songwriter and founding lead member of Everyday Sunday

In I Hardly Knew Me, Nia Chiaramonte offers a powerful, intimate account of gender transition, told not in hindsight but in real-life moments that became a path to survival. With humor and vulnerability, Nia brings you into the everyday world as a transgender person: from the complicated grace of coming out to the people she loves most, to the flood of silence after posting her truth online; all while watching her beautiful children accept her regardless.

"I used to be so hidden that even I couldn't see who I was," Nia writes, and that sense of disconnection is what makes this story so resonant. Through therapy sessions, late-night writing, and grace-filled family conversations, she begins to uncover the truth and non-negotiables of who she's always been.

In a time when trans lives are often reduced to debate points, I Hardly Knew Me captures the painful, beautiful, uncertain in-between. It's not just a book about gender. It's about choosing love, honesty, and self-worth in a world that often denies all three. It reminds readers that unconditional love is real, survival is possible, and coming to know who we truly are might just be the bravest thing we ever do.

As featured in the Hulu documentary We Live Here: The Midwest

See the Religion Dispatches interview here.

Themes: Identity & Belonging | Transgender | Social Justice

Book Clubs: Learn more here about our special offer to members of book clubs and make I Hardly Knew Me your latest read.

Praise for I Hardly Knew Me

". . . a candid and unflinching window into what it means to find oneself." —Publishers Weekly

"I Hardly Knew Me is a beautifully raw and profoundly human story of self-discovery, survival, and love." —Rev. Brandan Robertson, author, Queer & Christian

"In I Hardly Knew Me, Nia Chiaramonte invites us on her harrowingly heroic journey to her true self. Chiaramonte’s real-time vulnerability is a gift to anyone wanting to learn more about the trans experience." —Cassidy Hall, author of Queering Contemplation

"I Hardly Knew Me is a radiant testimony to the sacred dance between faith and authenticity. Nia's intimate storytelling illuminates how true self-discovery deepens our connection to both divine and human love." —Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis, author of Fierce Love

"Not only is Nia's voice desperately needed in a time of transgender oppression, but her perspective rips apart our assumptions and expectations. And she points to love—true love! This book takes readers on a beautiful adventure in trans-gender-formation." —Thomas Jay Oord, author of Open and Relational Theology

"I was once told in life there is an invitation to go deep enough into your own story that others might find themselves there as well. In I Hardly Knew Me, Nia Chiaramonte boldly accepts the invitation gently bringing the reader deep into her world. What a gift!" —Joshua Patterson, host of the (Re)thinking Faith podcast

“Nia pulls you in with honesty and vulnerability that anyone can relate to, and the deeper she goes in, the more we connect and get to know her. I Hardly Knew Me is a profound book about Nia’s experience, not only as a trans person but also as a beautiful human being who is worthy of being loved.” —Trey Pearson, singer-songwriter and founding lead member of Everyday Sunday

"I highly recommend Nia Chiaramonte’s I Hardly Knew Me as an informative, moving, and timely memoir about gender transition." —Chrissy Stroop, writer and author of Empty the Pews

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