Holy Disobedience

Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows

Melissa Duge Spiers

A book of fierce honesty and radical freedom for anyone breaking out of controlling systems.

“Spiers’s writing is propulsive and intelligent.” —Tia Levings, author of the New York Times bestselling A Well-Trained Wife

Holy Disobedience is a gripping, unflinching story by Melissa Duge Spiers about growing up in the shadow of control, silence, and secrets within the strict, fundamentalist Seventh-day Adventist Church. When Melissa learns that her father, a respected pastor, was a serial child predator shielded by the church, her world implodes. But this revelation is only the beginning of rebuilding a life outside.

From being beaten for resisting a childhood home perm to seducing a forbidden public-school athlete to reclaim her autonomy, Melissa’s early years were shaped by repression, shame, and indoctrination. Her escape from high-control religion launched her into a life of risk—Wall Street jobs, New York nightclubs, Hollywood hookups, and a series of abusive relationships. And yet, in these extremes, she was searching. Through self-reflection and finding her voice, and through an unexpected friendship with her father's first victim, Melissa slowly reconstructs the self she was never allowed to know.

Holy Disobedience is not just a survivor’s tale. It’s a story of fierce honesty, radical freedom, and the beautiful mess of becoming whole.

Themes: Spiritual Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Healing & Wholeness

Praise for Holy Disobedience

“This riveting story is full of danger, sexually-charged energy, religious trauma, and vivid glamour; Spiers’s writing is propulsive and intelligent as she calls out lies, enablers, and abusers—even when she’s the one pushing herself to the extreme. I was rooting for her on every page, and her story will help set others free.

—Tia Levings, author of the New York Times bestselling A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy and I Belong to Me: A Survivor’s Guide to Recovery and Hope after Religious Trauma

“In Holy Disobedience, Melissa Duge Spiers gives us an unflinching look at the toxic sludge that lies just beneath the surface of patriarchal, high-control religion.”

—Christa Brown, author of Baptistland: A Memoir of Abuse, Betrayal, and Transformation

“Melissa's writing is unexpectedly hilarious and warm, and I laughed out loud at times. Purity culture survivors won't want to miss this one, as stories like this have never been more urgent.”

—Erica Smith, MEd, author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide and creator of The Purity Culture Dropout™ Program

“I laughed, I cried, I raged, and I cheered alongside the author. Holy Disobedience is a brave, penetrating memoir about spiritual abuse, bodily control, and the slow, defiant work of claiming autonomy.”

—Katherine Spearing, author of A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts: The Subtle Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse and Life on the Other Side

“Raw and courageous, these pages expose spiritual abuse, illuminate the shadowed history of Seventh-day Adventism, and transform inherited pain into power and advocacy. Her story grants readers permission to grieve their own losses without apology or the need to soothe others’ discomfort.”

—Stephanie Warren, writer and podcast host of Focus on Your Own Family

“Compelling and insightful, this is an important addition to the growing genre of memoirs about high-control religion.”

—Cait West, author of Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy

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